One of my favorite non-Christian theological songs is “Light On,” by Maggies Rogers. When I attended my first silent retreat in January, I added it to my playlist “Are You There God? It’s Me Cal.” Entering my second semester of theology school, God and I needed to clear the air. The prior semester was a whirlwind of adjustment where I couldn’t find nor feel God anywhere. I felt defeated and weary to start another one. “Light On,” by Maggie Rogers reminded me that God and I, like any relationship, need to work together. The chorus sings “If you leave the light on, I’ll leave the light on.” When I first decided to add this song, I thought I was the one saying this to God. “If you work with me and give me what I need, I will continue down this path you have for me, otherwise, this isn’t going to work.” I was demanding more than what God had given me in the previous months. I was told by my spiritual director that this was ok. That it is ok to be mad and demand more of God. But on this Holy Saturday, I realized God was asking me to hold out hope, to keep the light on, because They kept the light on.
As a frequenter of the Easter Vigil, I never once paid attention to every single reading. Growing up, I usually alter served, and I was focused on remembering my blocking for communion. I only remembered the first reading, from the Book of Genesis. Because of the many vigils I served at, I grew to love the creation story. I truly internalized that God’s hand was at all created, including us and our hopes.
Now, Holy Saturday reminds me to place my hope in God because God fulfills our promises. Each reading highlights the persistence of God’s presence and love for us. The best example stems from God’s persistence and love for Their son, Jesus. Jesus’ resurrection reminds us that death is not defeat. There is always hope. God kept the light on. We must keep the light on.