Nurturing Faith

From childhood through my mid 20s, I was consistently in environments that nurtured and supported my faith.  I am long-time Catholic school educated. As a teenager, I became involved in my diocese’s youth department, attending formative programs, conferences, and retreats.  I attended a small, Jesuit college and did my best to do all things campus ministry.  Retreats. Small faith sharing groups. Service trips. Vibrant mass.  Then, I spent two years in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, which is grounded in the values of justice, spirituality, simple living, and community. 

For so long, I found that my spiritual life was a more natural part of my life. Then, in my later 20s – so much of that structure was no longer present. No regular retreats, service trips, and faith sharing groups. No direct, daily affiliation with an office of ministry and faith. To boot, I had more responsibility and less free time (ah, adulthood!). Plus, my critique of the institutional church had deepened over time.  Yes, there were still certainly opportunities available. But I still floundered a bit in terms of how to nurture and sustain my spirituality. By my early 30s, my faith felt important, but I also felt oddly unmoored spiritually. 

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ.  In today’s Gospel, we hear a familiar biblical passage “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.” There’s a great intimacy in this – a reminder of our unceasing connection to God. This is a connection I have believed in – but one that has felt so much harder to cultivate – to feel – without the community, structure, and opportunities that were part of my day-to-day for so long.   

I have not had a grand breakthrough in the past ten years.  But I’ve stayed the course, and I’ve noticed some things.  Notably, it was a few years ago now when a friend sent me an Instagram post saying Wisdom’s Dwelling was looking for writers.  At the time, I noticed an intrigue and palpable imposter syndrome. I did not feel particularly connected to the Church. I hadn’t really had to speak directly to my faith (in an explicit way) for a while. I was certainly no theologian. Around the same time, I was invited to take on a leadership role at my church.  For many of the same reasons, I was unsure about accepting. Still, I decided to try both on.  And I’m thankful for these opportunities. They’ve given me the chance to be in conversation with others about faith – like I was often in my younger years. They’ve nurtured me spiritually. They’ve helped me to settle a bit of that unmoored feeling. 

I miss the ease of those early environments that nurtured my faith and spirituality, and I continue to explore how to bring more of that into my life.  I suspect that will be an ongoing adventure. Still, today I am grounded by our gospel’s reminder – of our intimacy and interconnection with God that cannot be broken.