If truth be told, I have to admit that I am exhausted. I mean, deeply physically, emotionally and mentally done in. Stretched beyond my limits. Overstimulated. Undernourished. Extra crispy. Craving peace and calm and quiet and a whole glorious day (week? month?) to myself. At the end of this summer, I find myself buried by the weight of having tried to hold on to this gloriously sweet, fleeting season with my littles. As my oldest daughter entered kindergarten last week and my second daughter entered preschool, I have completely depleted myself trying to prepare everyone and everything as best as I humanly can. And these big life transitions are here to stay, whether I want them to or not.
Then I read today’s reading from James 1 and soak in the words as they are read over me: “Dearest brothers and sisters: All good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change.”
What a refreshing breath this scripture is! In this first chapter, James repeatedly refers to his readers as “dear” and “beloved,” gently calling us close to speak truth to us. It’s like he’s reminding us that Christian community is/should be a safe place where we kindly wrap our arms around each others’ shoulders and point each other back to the Source. Which James immediately does by very clearly stating that all good things come from God, the “Father of lights,” who never changes or alters even a little.
Oh the beauty of that truth: God is the source of all light AND will never change. Feeling dark, despondent, depleted, depressed? God is the only real place to find the light you need. I once read, and I’m paraphrasing here, that C.S. Lewis described hell as the absence of anything good. Because without God, there is nothing good in this world. Nothing. I think about that all the time. How the inverse of that thought is true: if there is any good here, it’s because God is here. Any kindness, any hope, any glimpse of true joy are all evidence of Divine Presence.
And God never changes. Everyone and everything else does. All seasons, all relationships, all moods, all successes, all stresses: everything else except God will shift. And of course we don’t know when the shift will occur, which can once again leave us breathless with anxiety. But God doesn’t change, and this surety can provide the calm we need.
The Divine remains our steadfast Source of light and life. So, if like me, you are exhausted and worried and just pretty much done, maybe we can take a collective breath and lean into this safe place of community where we can declare together: God, you are the true Light and everything good that you offer is still true yesterday, today and tomorrow.
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