The Assumption of Grief

After watching two dear friends pass away this year from painful illnesses, I am eager for the extreme joy of the Assumption of Mary! It is only the perfect Mary, Mother of God, who is granted the Grace of being spared the [potential] agony of death, and she is just Assumed into Heaven.

My friends and their loved ones, also very dear friends (and the doctors, nurses, therapists, extended family, and community of friends)  did everything they could to take care of these special humans. And ultimately, they each lost their battles after painful struggles. I have wondered, would it have been easier for their death and suffering to have been erased, and to have skipped dying and be assumed directly into Heaven? I haven’t asked their loved ones what they think. And I imagine the heartbreaking answer would be YES. Skipping suffering and death, and being assumed into Heaven instead, would probably have been much easier. And of course, that’s not how it works for us mortals. We don’t have the privilege and honor of being Assumed into Heaven. For some reason, we all need to live our lives as imperfect humans, and die when it’s our turn. Some of us watch our loved ones suffer illness before dying. How can we heal after something so heart wrenching like this?

Mary, the mother of Jesus, the first tabernacle, had the distinct honor of being Assumed into Heaven. She also was human and had the real human experience of witnessing her son being tortured and killed. Although Mary skipped actually dying, she experienced suffering in her life. Mary can be a source of comfort for us in our grief.

The pure joy and perfect gift of the Assumption of our Blessed Mother is a vehicle for transforming our pain into something holy. Mary witnessed Jesus' crucifixion and death on the cross which afforded her an infinite capacity to hold each of us in our times of grief. She can be the ultimate source of comfort, of tender care, and of solidarity in our grief.

Mary’s unconditional love for all of the children of the world enables her to spread her loving arms around us when we are hurting. Her warm hug is filled with empathy for our grief because Mary knows how it feels to lose a loved one. Mary can take care of all of us when we are grieving, scared, or even dying ourselves. We can turn to Mary for motherly love. After all, in her prayer, we ask her to be with us “now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

I wonder what would happen if we looked around for signs of Mary’s Assumption in our life and our work? I wonder where we might notice the joy and the beauty in her love for us, and in her glorious end on this earth?

I pray that we each find signs of the Assumption in our path. I pray that these signs bring us joy and healing. I pray that we find Mary when we need support in our grief. I pray that we may stand a little taller, knowing that we have Jesus’ Mother Mary on our side, ready to comfort us. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Today's Readings

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The Rev. Jocelyn E. Collen is a transitional deacon serving in the Episcopal Diocese of MA. She holds a Bachelor of Arts from from Fairfield University, a Master of Divinity from Boston College, and a Certificate in Spiritual Formation from Boston College. She lives just outside of Boston with her spouse and baby.