Small, Everyday Acts of Love

We don’t get too many Gospel stories about the whole Holy Family beyond the big ones of the Christmas season. If Jesus entered his public ministry in his early 30s, though, there’s a lot of ensuing years there. Years, I imagine, characterized by the same tenderness, love, and care we see in the story of Jesus’ birth.  Years made up of the simple, ordinary stuff of life. Shared meals. Praying together. Caring for each other through illness. Rest. Conversation. Celebrations. Laughter. Travel. Indeed, in the Holy Family we see the holiness of small, everyday acts of connection and love.  The kind of daily stuff that makes up a life, if not always a full Gospel story.  

I deeply relate to this. Last May, my mom unexpectedly passed away. Although, in spirit, I appreciate chances to tell a story about her, it is surprisingly hard to do. Not because it feels too tender or emotional, but because the reality is, her care, presence, and impact are ubiquitous in my 37 years as her daughter.  Her small acts, big love, and constancy show up in snapshots, rather than full stories. 

The way she’d exclaim “here she is!” each time I walked through the door of her house for our family dinner on Sundays. The fact that I had to text her when I got back to my place after family dinner (and if I forgot to, as I often did, I eventually got a text). The way she’d tease me about my occasional lack of common sense. I think of helping with her tasks around the house. I think of sitting at the kitchen table and talking.  How her voicemails often started with “hi, hon” and she addressed cards to me with “Baby Girl.”  

Ordinary, everyday expressions of love and connection. These memories are not particularly the stuff of stories, but they are the stuff of my life. These are the small, everyday acts that grew me into who I am today.  They grew my dignity, my heart, my humanity. Likewise, I imagine it was small, everyday acts that grew Jesus in “wisdom and stature.” Indeed, in the Holy Family, we see how deeply we are shaped inside of everyday care and love.   

Of course, families take a variety of forms that we choose, don’t choose, adopt, are gifted with. Still, in whatever form it takes, I take the model of the Holy Family as an invitation. Particularly in these times of increased precarity, pressure, and uncertainty, we can create families of constancy, affection, and tenderness. We can nurture ordinary, holy spaces. We can express our care in simple ways. This is really the stuff of life. It is precious and vital. 

My mom’s acts of love, not big stories, continue to fill my heart and shape me. Our words and presence, too, can be deeply dignifying and humanizing for others.  May we recognize and harness the power of our own small, everyday acts of care in our families, spaces, and communities.