Dying to Our Idols

There are times when I hear scripture being proclaimed and I want to look around saying “did anyone else hear this?” It’s thought provoking and hard hitting. That is what today’s Colossians reading gives to us—“Put to death, then, the parts of you that are earthly: immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and the greed that is idolatry.” I look at our world and wonder what would happen if I (and others) took seriously what scripture has declared. 

There are parts of me that have to die in order to be part of the mission of Christ on earth and that is hard. I am a person who has a hard time letting go if you have “wronged me” or those I care about. The whole, “as we forgive those who trespass against us” part of the Lord’s prayer has caused great inner conflict since I was a young child. There are times where I would rather stew in my outrage than take the time to heal and forgive. Why? Some people will call it stubbornness. I say, it's because it is easier to stay mad than to forgive. The anger is earthly but I’ve turned it into an idol rather than letting it die. 

Allowing the earthly idols in our lives to die takes intentional work. But it opens up new springs of grace in our lives. A few years ago I was in the process of working through some anger that had been building for decades. I held onto that anger as some sort of life raft. For me, it felt that if I let that anger go it would mean the people were right in what they did all those years ago—and I couldn’t let that happen! I was doing the work in therapy and making good strides in many regards except the letting go of the anger. 

Six years ago on chilly January Friday I went to an afternoon daily Mass at a church in downtown Chicago. Confessions were being offered and I hopped in line, sat face to face with the priest, and gave my confession. I touched on my anger, talked a lot about a ton of other things, and waited to hear how many “Hail Mary’s” I needed to pray after absolution. To my surprise, there were no Hail Marys. Instead, my penance was to “pray for those it is hardest to pray for.” The theologian in me wanted to give this priest a standing ovation, the humanness of me wanted to hide in a corner and pretend I didn’t show up for confession. Pray for those who it is hardest to pray for? Ugh. Sounded a lot like hard work. 

But God doesn’t call us to do the easy work. God calls us to the challenge because we are capable of working with it. I went back to my pew, began to pray, and God’s grace flooded in. I was humbled having to pray for those I didn’t want to pray for and the anger started lifting from my shoulders. I started the hard work of putting to death the earthly things that I turned into an idol–my anger. I didn’t become a bonafide saint after that moment. Do I still get angry? Of course–I’m human and some types of anger are good and healthy. When I find myself stewing in that anger I recall the confession that challenged me. And then I try to move forward, what are other idols in my life that I need to put to death? 

Letting go of what is earthly—especially when it has rooted itself deep within us—is never a one-time act. It is a continual, sometimes daily, surrender. But in the struggle to release our idols, whether it’s anger, pride, evil desire, greed, control, or fear, we open ourselves to the transforming power of God’s grace. Colossians calls us not just to feel convicted, but to be changed—to live as people who trust that new life is possible on the other side of letting go. So, when I hear scripture proclaimed and feel that nudge deep in my spirit, I try not to look away. I try to listen. Because that’s where resurrection begins.

Today's Readings